i laid my body down to go to sleep tonight, and found my mind entirely alert and racked with regret over i think almost everything i've ever done. the longer i lay there, the more i realized it was regret for everything i haven't done; yet. for months since i graduated school i've talked hollow goals and worked a job entirely unrelated to art with no room for creativity. i'm newly aware to just how much i've squandered, and it's really time it stops. i'm not going to make this public until it is somewhat substantial, but i'd like to keep it as a place to put all aspects of my subconcious conscious; the videos i make on the train, 'candied slices of life' as tracy would have said, the small writings that are so necessary to my coping, the drawings and tiny works i dream of all day and yet never sit down in the evening to make. i am "physically" manifesting a home for all these things and thoughts; my hope is that with a place for them to all go they themselves will finally physically manifest.