retrospect?

non stop train. been actively organizing and celebrating.

excessive digression
undulating corpselikelaying
reverberating analysis
not intuitive ENOUGH
am i really that callous as I claim to be compassionate?
cant care dontcarewontstop cant stop.
I'm treading water, placenta, womb like
so easy to get lodged..; stuck
no time to speak out of place.
what's good with synonymity?
What Exactly has perched claws deep into my clavicles in an eternal shoulder rest?

recharged

had a very inspiring time in the city over a few days!!! after an unexpected plate-sized pancake breakfast whose color scheme made me think of diners in the fifties, we took the metro into manhattan to check out the highline on the upper west side (http://www.thehighline.org/about/maps). i'd been there months ago in early summer and only the first two blocks on the north half were open, but the whole length of it's finished now and it's absolutely great. really a nice walk, i highly suggest checking it out. i'm dreaming of how nice it's going to be when i'm there warm in the summer, but i really loved the straw texture of all the tall grass shriveling/shivering under winter's chill. on the way we turned onto ninth and this is what greets us:

i'm pretty sure that's one of richard serra's pieces; it was on a giant flatbed on the side of the street. i couldnt find anything online in regards to a possible upcoming installation/exhibition somewhere, i'd love to go see it once it's up.

found this supershort video on serra and his crew while trying to find info.

i laid my body down to go to sleep tonight, and found my mind entirely alert and racked with regret over i think almost everything i've ever done. the longer i lay there, the more i realized it was regret for everything i haven't done; yet. for months since i graduated school i've talked hollow goals and worked a job entirely unrelated to art with no room for creativity. i'm newly aware to just how much i've squandered, and it's really time it stops. i'm not going to make this public until it is somewhat substantial, but i'd like to keep it as a place to put all aspects of my subconcious conscious; the videos i make on the train, 'candied slices of life' as tracy would have said, the small writings that are so necessary to my coping, the drawings and tiny works i dream of all day and yet never sit down in the evening to make. i am "physically" manifesting a home for all these things and thoughts; my hope is that with a place for them to all go they themselves will finally physically manifest.